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We are MEN

We are men.

We fight for what’s right. We are ruthless with our compassion.

And we laugh when we fall on our faces.

We are mature men.

We are honorable, strong, bonded like no other.

We guide, we teach, we lead.

We are men.

We are an example to our peers, to boys, to our sons, for future generations.

We are the mature masculine.

We play hard and we work hard.

We are men.

We are courageous because of our vulnerability.

We are courageous because of our honesty.

We are courageous because we will stand alone against the grain, if we do not believe the status quo is righteous.

We are men.

We are soldiers who wear our hearts on the outside of our armor; daring to stabbed, as we march forth, BOLDLY, in the direction of what we desire.

We are men.

We do not apologize for having dicks and a hairy nut sack, and we accept responsibility for where we choose to put them.

We are men. We’re here. We’re committed. We stand shoulder-to-shoulder with our brothers.

Saying Thank You

I was riding my bike back from the gym and I spotted a discarded cardboard sign tossed in a bush near the 405. All I could make out was “…dbless.” A disgruntled homeless person tossed it aside their “Godbless” sign when it wasn’t working for them. God bless is a beautiful sentiment appealing to the religious and spiritually in tune. But in the me, me, me, go, go, go underbelly of West Los Angeles, the marketing message was not returning the desired results. Got me thinking. Perhaps if they appeal more to the egoic basin, the returns would be greater. If the sign said, “I am thankful for you,” and nothing else, I wonder if the returns would be greater.

There are only two kinds of people in this world. Those who say, “Thank you,” and those who say, “But what else can you do for me?” I have no time for the later.

So if I have ever said, “yeah, but what else can you do for me?” to any of you, I humbly apologize.

And to all of you, THANK YOU. If you wasn’t for you, my life would be meaningless.

GOD BLESS.

How do you as a man, or as a team, support one of your men when they are ill, in the hospital, injured, or in surgery?

Over the time that I’ve been in this division, I’ve heard many stories: Wink Mann falling off a ladder, James Williamson having quadruple heart bypass surgery, Blade Thomas’ heart attack, Barry Axelrod’s surgery, Jim Walsh’s back and head injury which occurred during a division meeting, and many many others. Each time the men in the division and the men on that individual’s team stepped in a big way to support the family and the man.

Today, one of the men on my team, and one of the men who is very involved on the division level, David Andersen, went into surgery to replace his hip. We banded together to support him. He got time at the last team meeting to reveal his emotions and fears around the surgery, and the one thing he asked from the team was that the men sent him healing “mojo”. This morning at 9AM we did just that, holding a conference call to simply connect with the man spiritually and energetically as he went under the knife. It was a simple call, 10 minutes in length, and the majority of that time was spent in silence, with each man holding an intention, and a space for David. When the call was complete, the team and each of the men truly felt that they had contributed something very positive to this man in his deepest time of need. Each of us know that we were able to reach this man and his spirit, and keep him in our thoughts. As the hours have gone on, we all have continued that connection in our own ways.

On Saturday at 5PM, we will be going to visit him at his hospital bedside, bringing our cheer, our smiles, our energy, and our love. We will be giving his woman, Tanya Ragir, time to rest herself since she will be at his bedside constantly, and this will be her first real opportunity to catch her breath, go home, and have a nice meal.

I have spoken, and will continue to be in touch with Tanya, his daughter Jenika, and other people in his family who care for him, and need whatever support we can give them in this time.

Our Monday team meeting will take place at his home, so that he can continue to be a part of our team through his recuperation.

This is just a small and simple way that we can reach out to this man that we love, respect, and care for. This is one of the higher purposes that I hold in my circle… caring for our men in a way that you just don’t see or experience in everyday life.

I am eager to hear your thoughts. Have you had a similar experience? Is there a story you’d like to add to this thread? Suggestions of how you or your men and team have showed up or would show up in this situation.

Let me know. Share your wisdom. As men in this community, it’s one of the greatest ways we can contribute to this community and to the men and families we truly love.

Stewart out!!!!


So, first of all I’d like to introduce myself. My name is STEWART. I am the team leader of THE MEN. I did my Sterling Men’s Weekend in November, 2004, and my LDE in October, 2005.

Here’s a picture of me on my Point Team overnight with the other men of my point program. At that time we were known as “The Merry Wet Men”, and no, that was not a name we chose for ourselves. After that we became a team known as Raisin’ Hell. About two years later I left that team, and joined the team known at the time as Kryptonite Junkies, and now known as The Men. Raisin’ Hell became Chupacabre, and many of the members have since gone onto other teams… Juarez and Levy are on the Eastsiders. Steben is on the Valley Kings. Metz stayed with Chupacabre, but has since joined me on The Men.

Professionally, I am a Macintosh Consultant, and I run a company along with Ethan Feerst (also on The Men) called 2 Smart Techies. (Here’s a pic of FEERST and one of The MacWhisperer in all our glory – both taken by our own very talented Andre Andreev)

I write a technical blog and produce a podcast under the name of The MacWhisperer. Technology is my passion. I strive to stay on the cutting edge. I encourage those around me to use their technology to it’s fullest, and to find ways for that technology to fill in personal deficits. That’s where this blog comes in.

At the Division Roast I was astonished at the talent we are surrounded with in this division. There are great business leaders and teachers (Santana, Gershenson, Greene to name a few). There are great comedy talents (Lassers, Batiste, Weiler off the top of my head). There are incredible food professionals (Arthur and Dressler and I’m sure several others). Great musicians (Oliart, Andersen, Jean and many more). Now it’s time for the great technicians to step forward and show you what we can do… and I will lead the way as the Technology Czar for Full Monty.

The first step will be this blog. It’s a simple to update website, with the capability to post text, photos, videos and other forms of communication. It’s a way you can speak your mind, and share your life. It’s a way to connect with men from other teams, as well as a way to be more connected with your men the rest of the week. Men will post discussions, and then anyone with an account can carry on and continue the conversation, or dispute it, or offer their own thoughts, advice, suggestions, etc….

Let’s start using this blog. Bookmark it on your computers… the direct link is https://fullmontybullet.wordpress.com/

If you want to contribute, all you need to do is send me an email (stewart@trustthemen.com), and I will assist you in setting up an account. Then you can blog from your web browser, a blogging application (I can make suggestions on the best of these), or in some cases even your phone (there are several free, and easy to use blogging apps I know about for the iphone).

Now’s YOUR chance to:

Make a statement.

Have an opinion.

Let the men in your division hear your voice.

It’s all up to YOU!!!!

Let’s build this community together, and share in the bounty of the wisdom, knowledge, experience, and culture of this powerful circle of KINGS!!!!!

HO!!!!

MacWhisperer Out…..


Submitted by: Santana

My wingman screamed over the radio “Break Right, Break Right! Missile launch, your 3 O’clock!”

I looked to my right and saw two SAM’s (surface to air missiles) skyrocketing towards my aircraft at twice the speed of sound.  My radar warning receiver was blaring which meant I was being locked up by enemy radar. If I didn’t maneuver my aircraft immediately, I would get shot down.  There was no time to think.

I lowered the nose, went to full power, banked the aircraft aggressively to the right and performed my best missile defense maneuver.  Then I heard my wingman (call sign “Pigpen”) yell “Magnum” over the radio. This meant he was shooting an anti-radiation missile at the radar site that was tracking on me. Within several seconds my radar turned off and the missiles lost track of my aircraft and exploded only a ½ mile away from me!

I survived.

Pigpen was my wingman over the skies of Yugoslavia that night and he possibly saved my life. His job on this mission (and every mission) was to provide mutual support to the formation. How did I know this? Because on every mission fighter pilots back each other up and cross check our most vulnerable position – directly behind us. It’s where most of the threats come from. We call it the “six o’clock” position and when we’re strapped into the cramped cockpit of the F-16, it’s the location we can’t see on our own.

Fighter pilots train in an environment of mutual support and always check each other’s six for unseen threats.  And when our wingmen call out “break right/left” to avoid the missiles, we never question their judgment.  We take action because we trust each other.  It’s what we’re trained to do.

We survive solo, but win together.

In the heat of battle in business, it’s easy to get channelized and inadvertently blow off your cross check (i.e. sales processes, budget, customer courtesy, critical appointments, etc.) You may be way too focused on the task at hand, overwhelmed or stressed out. You become what fighter pilots call “task saturated.”

When this happens, you can lose sight of the big picture and your cross check can suffer. This is when you leave yourself vulnerable to the unseen enemy and can get shot down (i.e. lose the sale, alienate a co-worker, miss a critical appointment, etc.) To avoid this, you need your wingmen to check your six and provide mutual support during these stressful times.

Here are five WingTips to facilitate a “check six” culture in your organization.

Start by asking others for 1-1 intimate feedback on your performance
Request that they sit in on a sales call or have them review a proposal.
Ask these two questions: “What did I miss? “How can I Improve?”
Avoid being defensive.  Then, thank them.
If you’re a formal leader, openly reward employees who demonstrate mutual support and who encourage others to succeed.
Be willing to say “I don’t know” or “I messed up”
When the boss publicly admits a mistake and fesses up to it, others will too (especially the new hire who may be scared an intimidated by your organization.)
Set expectations during a daily/weekly briefing to highlight performance expectations, delegate responsibilities, and contingency plan emergencies. Let your team know that you expect them to tell you if you’re messing up.
Be willing to give extra support to a wingman who may be experiencing a challenging situation at work or even at home.
In fast-paced, high-risk environments, close coordination is required among team members to accomplish a mission and avoid errors.  Creating a check six environment with your wingmen is critical to mitigate risk and ensure the missiles of adversity, change and fear don’t shoot you down. It also helps to break down communication barriers so that all members of a team feel empowered to speak up, ask questions, and call out missiles.

When mutual support is part of your culture, team members become more trusting and engaged, while leaders benefit from the improved flow of vital information up and down the organizational hierarchy. Your customers and prospects will also see a big difference in the quality of their service. Finally, having an extra set of eyes looking out for you (like “Pigpen” did for me) will allow you to function more productively and with less stress during those challenging missions.

Never Fly Solo,

Lt Col Rob “Waldo” Waldman

Lt. Col. Rob “Waldo” Waldman, the Wingman, is a former combat decorated fighter pilot and the author of Never Fly Solo – Lead with Courage, Build Trusting Partnerships, and Reach New Heights in Business.

“I hope the love and trust that we always talk about prevails and that this note, written from my heart, can provoke a real, open and loving dialogue that promotes the values we hold dearest.

At this time in our family’s history, I find it critically important to share what I never have with you all.  Some of the lessons I learned at my Men’s Weekend.  I know that many of you have strong judgments of the Men’s and Women’s Weekend and related activities and organizations, and we have never addressed those judgments head on.  But I ask you to look at our actions. Consider how Mario and Andrea reunited after many years apart and have flourished partly because of the lessons described below.  Remember back to my experience, last year, where the power of the lessons below prevailed and my wife and I are now happily married and properly caring for our child.  These lessons are most important when it matters most.

Though our code of confidentiality does not allow me to share what happened there, i am encouraged to share what I have learned  Hopefully, you’ll be able to track in my actions and in those of some of my sibs and in laws that have been exposed to the weekend, actions that are consistent with these lessons.  There is an obvious reason for the timing of this email that I don’t think I need to mention.
There are 3 entities.  The man, the woman and the relationship.  Simple lesson, but often ignored, so when there is a problem in the relationship, I might have a tendency to think that my partner is the problem when in fact it is really the relationship that needs to be fixed or changed in some way.
The most prevalent type of child abuse in our society today is divorce.
When 2 parents divorce, it is equated to placing their child (or children) in front of a moving bus.  Though they will not be harmed physically, the damage is potentially more grave because these wounds don’t just close up like a cut or heal like a bruise.  The split will cause deep emotional and spiritual wounds that will last the rest of their lives.
The effect of the divorce will likely harm children for many generations, as children of divorce are more likely to divorce than children of united families.
These are just a few of the dozens of lessons that I’ll mention that are most relevant to all of us today.  Here is one more:

Through my experiences in the Men’s organization of which I am a member, and through countless other volunteer and partnership activities with the women’s organizations that we work with, I have come to know dozens of men and women and their stories.  We share a common trust that is more powerful than the trust I have felt anywhere else. In those experiences, I have come to learn about many relationships that were in horrible condition that were saved because of the commitment and love of the two individuals and because of the realization of the potential impact their split can have on their children. From that, I have learned that it is never too late.

Now that the stakes are extremely high in other branches of our family tree, what wisdom will prevail?  What principles will be championed?

I feel like I’ve had to hold back some of what I’ve learned because of what I’ve understood to be some of your judgments of what I’ve experienced.  But I have to be honest, I’m tired of treating the most powerful and important change in my life as a dirty little secret just because others are afraid of something they do not know or understand.  There are powerful lessons from our experiences that are very applicable to our famly today that I think we should share with each other in support of what is best for us and our children, and grandchildren.

I don’t know the full story of what is happening in Claremont.  Still, I’m here as a stand for united families, children being raised by two parents, unending commitment to my partner and our relationship. I’m here as a stand for healthy relationships where man and woman are fully empowered to bring all of themselves to each other and to the world, not having to hide anything or hold anything back.  That is why I spend so much of my time and energy to ensure that the most important lessons we all hold are carried forth and shared with many.  So that we all can live better lives and take better care of our children.

Finally, I’m here as a stand for the belief that, when there are young children involved, DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION.  Something I learned first from my Mom, my Dad and Hector, and re-learned at my Weekend.

I hope you can see and feel the sentiment behind the words I have written: love.
I love my nieces.  I love my God-daughter.  I love my brother and sister in law.

Furthermore, I love our family, the children we now have and those we still have not conceived.  Our grandchildren and others.  These are all individuals that will feel the effects of our actions.  For them and for all of you, I’m taking a stand.”

Kellner

When someone in our circle tells you to take your hands out of your pockets when you’re speaking to another man, think about it before you react unconsciously.

It is generally assumed that leaving your hands in your pockets while talking to someone is a sign of disrespect.

You might have your hands in your pockets because you are being rude, deceptive, defensive, or nervous.  Sometimes you are just trying to stay warm..

You might have your hands out of your pockets to show respect.  But maybe you like to gesture while you talk or you’re about to strangle the mother-fucker standing in front of you.

So before you automatically whip your hands out of your pockets and let your arms dangle at your sides do something intentional.  Think about what you want your body language to say and decide if you are going to take your hands out or not, and why.  You might also tell those around you about your decision.